Terms of Condition: Relationships (part 2)

This is the second part of the post from earlier today. That reflection on today’s Gospel was written on Monday. As I’ve interacted with others regarding this Gospel, as I received Father’s homily today during Mass - God moved further in my own heart regarding these ‘conditions’ I’ve been meditating on all week.

Conditions – expectations – terms

        of agreement, of responsibility –

        measurements to determine acceptability

        of performance     OR

        when you fall woefully short.

They are means of protection.

        If I do this, I am good.

        If I don’t, I am bad.

        If I fall short, there must be some means for improvement.

        If I exceed … is there a reward for exceptional –

                or just an expanded expectation for more?

                You know, we don’t LOWER our expectations when people fall short –

                        We just let them go. Buh-bye. Not a good fit. See ya later, alligator.

Placing conditions are like marking boundaries.

It’s our way of KNOWING … determining … trusting … deciding.

At the start of a relationship, these conditions  

        help us determine if we should keep going.

It’s a way of deciding if the bridge across a wide cavern

        should be trusted. I take my first step, gingerly,

        slowly allowing my weight to rest  and then,

        I lift up the next foot as my weight transfers firmly…

        still close enough to safety that I could turn back, if necessary.

As the bridge proves itself reliable to hold me,

        my confidence increases. The initial fears ease – and

        disappear. Likely, the conditions or terms are forgotten

        because ease and a natural rhythm develop –

        a relationship has formed … interdependence is the goal –

        mutual trust for a shared outcome –

        believing each is FOR the goodness and well-being of the other.

Relationships begin with doubt.

        Conditions set (though rarely communicated or acknowledged)

        and, ideally, met. Then trust grows.

        Co-operation follows.

        And in the case of marriage:

                UNconditional love replaces conditional trust.

So it is, I believe with our relationship to God.

First, we have to recognize that there is actually an invitation

        to RELATIONSHIP … not to obedience ---

        to friendship growing into love growing into self-gift.

As humans, our natural tendency is to accept this invitation with conditions OR

        to question this invitation – for legitimacy,

                authenticity – PROOF of its reality and reliability.

When I began seeking Jesus, when I desired to encounter Him – to know Him,

        my heart was hungry for acceptance, purpose and direction.

        And my conditions for belief were that they’d be met …

                that He would provide. That it would be good.

These are the means that God still accesses to deepen and strengthen our relationship.

When I doubt – it’s in His ability to provide direction; Am I where I am supposed to be? Did I misunderstand?

        When I struggle, it’s with my calling; Am I doing what I should be doing?

        When I am wounded – it’s the question of my worthiness -                

                my acceptability.

I also refer to these items as my sign posts. The times in my

        life where God has answered –

        provided – TIME AND AGAIN …

        proving His faithfulness,

        providing His love, mercy, joy and kindness.

Without these “conditions,” where would my proof be that

        GOD IS WHO HE SAYS IS?

I get that there are people in the world who think it is better to just accept God … or to believe that closeness to God is a yes/no, in or out, static not dynamic state of existence.

I just don’t think that’s how God operates. God wants to relate to us – with us – for us – through us.

God wants us to INTERACT with Him

        To trust Him – yes – but because we believe Him – because we ask for more of Him – because we believe that going deeper, farther, higher, lower than we could go on our own is BETTER because it brings us closer into knowing. Closer into being. Closer to doing.

        God wants to be EXPERIENCED – not just exalted.

In fact, God is only interested in your exaltations because you’ve encountered HIS HEART and found it to be greater than what you’ve known before!

        God wants you to ENGAGE with Him –

                through dialogue,

                through openness,

                through questions,

                through conditions,

                through expectations,

                through doubts,

                through anger,

                through wounds,

                through joys,

                through words,

                through silence,

                through listening,

                through receiving,

                ALL OF IT –

                It’s all a means to discover just what His heart is FOR YOU –

                        To uncover His character demonstrated during the circumstance,

                        Through the overcoming – into the healing.

Approaching God with questions – even with conditions –

        signals an openness of heart. You are asking God to

        show up for you.

When we don’t ask – when we don’t expect – our hearts

        are actually closing themselves off from God’s presence.

God’s invitation is to a dynamic, life-giving relationship.

It isn’t one-and-done. It’s a lifetime of growing.

        A lifetime of moving from unbelieving to belief.

Let us embrace the open heart prayer: I do believe! Help me with my unbelief!