The real Lenten fast

I wanted to share my Lectio Divina with you this week and what things I’ve been pondering in my heart and discussing with God.

This Sunday’s Gospel reading comes from John 9:1-41. It is the story of the man born blind, whom Jesus heals and leads from both physical and spiritual blindness to sight. As I read, this line stood out to me from the close of the reading:

Some of the Pharisees who were with him heard this
and said to him, “Surely we are not also blind, are we?”
Jesus said to them,
“If you were blind, you would have no sin;
but now you are saying, ‘We see,’ so your sin remains.

But now you are saying, “We see,” so your sin remains. Claiming sight - while wondering if they can actually see. In this lesson, Jesus is highlighting that neither our physical limitations - things we are born with - or even our spiritual limitations - are sins. They are reminders that God has come to complete creation - not leave us abandoned, incomplete, or insecure. …what separates us from God (sin) is when we claim wholeness, completeness, security apart from God.

I’m taken back to the Garden of Eden to the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Knowledge is like sight. Seeing with the mind is knowledge. Seeing with the soul is understanding. Seeing with the Spirit is enlightenment.

If we are sure that we are not blind, then we are claiming to know the difference between good and evil - we are claiming to be like God. (wasn’t that the fruit of that tree?) If the Pharisees truly knew the difference, then they wouldn’t claim that this man was born in sin, that Jesus was a sinner, or deny that the good works Jesus does come from God - whom they claim to know.

The Pharisees want to be above sin…but don’t want to be below Jesus.

The Pharisees want to be above sin…but don’t want to trust in something beyond themselves.

Will I trust in my own sight and perception of reality? Or…will I allow God to lead me? Will I allow God to provide for me?

(thoughts from my prayer on Tuesday)

God, you know that when I thought about a time like this coming, that I’d be in my mother’s house; home with my dad. Protected by their provision. Instead, I am in Michigan, in my own house…my husband now in his mother’s house - and others looking to me for guidance. I wish I was a stockpiler like my aunt Nancy…yet, I’m not. I am trusting in you…but nervous.

God, please protect those upon whom we depend for normalcy: Grocers, Growers, Packers, Canners, Drivers…. We do not suffer well, do we? (I do not say that accusingly; I am there with you) We trust so much on others — yet think of ourselves independent. That we are in control - that we are directing our destiny - we have illusions of control because we are so interdependent upon everything working as we know it.

All the knowledge of the ages has become specialized. Survival skills are now taught in after-school clubs…for those who choose. How privileged we are! We get to choose to be ignorant! Ignorant of growing seasons, soil conditions, seed germinating, animal raising. We get to choose among 10 different kinds of ‘milk’ - yet only a few could we easily reproduce! We get to hoard, stockpile, feast away in our little houses…

I only have enough coffee to get me through Monday — what then?

What then? I’ll go to the store. And I’ll buy more. Because we have the ability and the privilege to do so. What a time that we live in - that we can “easily” hunker down at home - but that ease is brought to us buy someone else’s toil and sacrifice. (you know, I always pluralize my pronouns when writing because of my connectedness - I tend to think we are all quite similar, especially those most likely to be in my audience - but I don’t want these words to sound like I am above or judging you; I’m not; God is bringing this to my awareness, and I am admitting my blindness and illusions of control)

What is being exposed, at least for me, are the securities I’ve trusted in. The pillars I’ve mistaken for eternal - or at least reliable - and how utterly unprepared I am to depend on myself. And I’m recognizing how privileged I’ve been - ignorant of the gifts of “normalcy.”

I don’t want to make vows - because I don’t think that’s what God asks of us. We don’t need to do drastic things - we just need to do better. When you know better, do better.

For me currently, that looks like being better at cutting down on food waste. I want to use what I have, and be purposeful in using what I buy. That means creating a meal plan (and hoping it’s all available at the store).

I also want to start growing my own food. Yep, I grew up on a farm and my dad is great gardener. …but I don’t have a garden. I’ve never had a garden, and what holds me back from starting one is - that I don’t know where to start. So, for all my green-thumb gardeners out there, help a sister out. Where should I start? This has always been a dream of mine - but never a goal (because a goal is a dream with a date). I’ve never made the time to figure it out - and maybe, now is the time.

The point of Lenten fasts is to move us beyond ourselves. While “none of us expected to give up this much for Lent,” if we only focus on what we’ve given up - we have missed the point. If I only focus on doing better for me, then I have missed God in this lesson. The thing is that even without a pandemic, there are people facing food insecurity. Especially now, these insecurities are rising. How can I be part of this solution?

Support local homeless shelters (Homeless Angels here in the Lansing area is a great place to start) and food banks.

Avoid buying items labeled for WIC recipients, if you can. WIC recipients can only buy certain items with their dollars; if you have the means to buy a different brand or item, that can help those who need it,

Reach out to your neighbors or those you know who shouldn’t leave their house when going on a grocery run. I’ve had a cold this week, and have been fortunate to have folks like my roommate and in-laws bring me items I need. Now that I’m on the mend, it’s my turn.

Utilize your community. This week, I realized that I don’t need to “hoard all the things” or feel like I have to, if I establish a web of resources were I/my roommate to get sick. This I think is the most important thing we can do. Who is your “QuaranTEAM”? They can buy groceries or necessities, maybe even drop off meals on your porch. If someone wants me to be on their team, just let me know. The only deal is - you have to help me back. :)

I’m sure God will open my eyes to other ways that I can support others and continue to “be better.”

Peace I leave with you, my friends. May the God of Peace and Power open our eyes to His reality and work in our lives and in the world around us.