Prepare {him} room

One of my favorite Christmas hymns, Joy to the World, includes the directive: let every heart prepare him room. This week, I discovered that this practice extends to more spaces & places than Advent & Jesus.

You may know that I am engaged. (If not, surprise!) My fiancé arrived to America a couple of weeks ago to celebrate the holiday trifecta of Thanksgiving, Christmas, and NewYear’s - sandwiched by our birthdays - and yes, crammed with wedding planning. His arrival came on the literal heels of my birthday extravaganza with a handful of some of my favorite/closest friends, which came during a month of busyness with student activities & meetings.

For one of my birthday festivities, I went to Les Mis (my first time seeing it live!). It was spectacular (of course it was; it’s Les Mis!)…yet, I couldn’t experience its fullness…because I was too full. I only had enough space in my brain, my heart, my soul to take it in a small dose. I was there; I appreciated it…but my heart was unchanged because there was too much on me.

I didn’t want to be that full. I didn’t want to not be transformed. I wanted to be enthralled and swept into the moment - but I couldn’t. There was too much in my heart & mind to be uplifted. Too many strings attached to what is/was/could be/should be that the balloon couldn’t soar.

Cue two more weeks with that same level of activity and fullness. By the time last week rolled around, I was at capacity.

I needed to be emptied. But that’s scary, too, isn’t it? We can rely on all the stuff surrounding us to define us. We assume that it’s part of our identity, when in actuality, it’s simply stuff.

Before Nigel came, I had all these plans for preparing space for him. But, as you can guess - that didn’t happen. He, of course, was his easy going self about it. …but, upon arrival and looking around my house, he started noticing that there’s a lot of stuff. And while he hasn’t voiced this - I’m sure he was wondering if there is any room for him here.

and, that’s a valid question. …because really, there wasn’t.

There were good intentions - but the reality looked more like, “hey…does a tiny corner work for you? I promise more room will come…eventually…”

Last week, after struggling through a few days of weird emotions, I was able to recognize the spirit of discontent & disgust. I don’t want to squeeze Nigel into my schedule. I don’t want to cram him into my house. I don’t want to maintain the same level of bustle. I want to prepare him room, even if that means doing it in his midst.

And so, recognizing that space is needed - literal space and also mental and emotional space, God and I began the work in me, to empty out space and prepare room. It’s work. It requires effort, yet once you put your hand to the plow, you find the way is much easier and the fruit readily apparent.

For me, this work looks like emptying out Dan’s space in my closet. I’ve been holding onto the last few button-ups…shirts I thought I might make into projects. But, the time has come for these items of clothing to be shared - not squirreled away. His nephews and brothers will give them new life. These items of clothing, beloved by Dan, gain new purpose and are revered by the wearer - much more than gathering dust in my closet. Packaging up these items also have me a chance to empty my heart…to weep over what was, to treasure the gift his presence was to me - when he occupied these clothes… and as I prepared these for their new owners, lovingly selected - my heart was opened…so that I can receive what is and what will be.

My friends, Advent is not a season of pre-gaming for Christmas. It is a season of preparation. Prepare your hearts by making room for the life and love of Jesus to dwell within. Do the hard work of cleaning your closet - sharing something you love but another could love better (perhaps) - taking time to feel the full extent of your gift - remorse, gratitude, longing and love. Then, allow the space creates to be filled by the Holy Spirit, receiving the fullness of light, hope, peace and joy this Christmas.

Peace be with you.