A Sacrifice of Praise

To you, LORD, I will offer a sacrifice of praise.

How shall I make a return to the LORD
 for all the good he has done for me?
The cup of salvation I will take up,
 and I will call upon the name of the LORD.

To you, LORD, I will offer a sacrifice of praise.

When Dan was sick - in the hospital with pneumococcal pneumonia, to be exact — I admitted to my dad that, for the first time, I was scared he would die. So scared. And I didn’t know how to pray.

My dad said to me, “When you don’t know how to pray: praise. Offer up a sacrifice of praise and know that the Lord inhabits the praise of His people.”

So, I did. I began to praise God in song - hopeful of a miracle. (what happened next was indeed a miracle - but that’s another post).

My vows to the LORD I will pay
 in the presence of all his people.
Precious in the eyes of the LORD
is the death of his faithful ones.
O LORD, I am your servant;
I am your servant, the son of your handmaid;
you have loosed my bonds.

To you, Lord, I will offer a sacrifice of praise.

On January 13, (which happens to be Nigel’s birthday) this Psalm was the responsorial psalm for the day. Immediately, I thought of my dad and his advice to me. Additionally, the song Nigel and I had settled on for our recessional (when we exit as husband and wife) followed closely: O God Beyond All Praising. I thought of our wedding - this will be a time of acclaiming God’s goodness and provision.

…and then, smack in the middle of the second stanza, a verse that has brought comfort over the years: Precious in the eyes of the Lord is the death of His holy ones. It seems incongruous. This Psalm of goodness, provision, and fulfillment interrupted by death. —and still the Psalmist lives on.

This is me. This is today. This is the Sacrament of Marriage.

All of the Sacraments are meant to prepare us for one thing: heaven. …and not even so much heaven as for Jesus. Of all the Sacraments, only the Eucharist will still exist (the feast of the Lamb) - yet even that will be celebrated in a much different way. Every other Sacrament is a gift for this life ONLY.

Marriage is a gift ONLY for this life - as long as we have it. Jesus briefly explains it in Matthew 22:23-33 and Mark 12:28-34. To be honest, before I was a widow and even after, those verses were too hard for me to take. That was because for me, the pinnacle of this life was marriage. There was no greater thing I was called to become than a wife. That calling consumed me as a single person. As a wife, I felt I’d reached that height. …how could I not be Dan’s in death?

I don’t know how to explain it any other way than this. I was missing Jesus. I lived life like it was me and Dan - with a side of Jesus. We were the main course; He was like…I don’t know our server? Maybe the potatoes? Not even the dessert…just something the Irish serve 3 of with every meal. (Maybe God really is the potatoes then — 3 in one? The trinity of side dishes?)

Dan’s death and my journey into the heart of God, the Sacred heart of Jesus - opened my eyes to this. Honestly, I don’t know that I would’ve found my way to the Sacred heart of Jesus without Dan’s dying and his resurrection. Our marriage vows will finally reach fulfillment only when our spouse attains full union with Jesus — which, regrettably, requires death.

So, let me say it again for the people in the back: Marriage is a gift for this life only - as long as we have it. Our marriage vows reach fulfillment when our spouse attains full union with Jesus.

I know that Dan has attained this. Dan has reached fulfillment — and that union with Jesus is so much greater than our earthly union…yet, ours was necessary for the ultimate communion to take place. …and I am where I am today because of Dan and our union here. He (Dan) has prepared me for more of Jesus. Without Dan, I would never have been able to receive the care and comfort and love that God the Father has always had for me…that I only finally opened myself up to receiving upon Dan’s death.

My vows to the LORD I will pay
in the presence of all his people,
In the courts of the house of the LORD,
in your midst, O Jerusalem.

To you, Lord, I will offer a sacrifice of praise.

On Saturday, we will all be part of another sacrifice of praise. This one will be easy. This one will be new. The actual sacrifice will come when the vows are nearing fulfillment. Yet our God is always good; He is always near - and He is always present — most especially in the sacrifice of praise. When we open our hearts to rend a sacrifice, we will find Him already dwelling and abiding.

I am so excited to become Nigel’s wife. I hear God saying, “Behold! I am making all things new!” This union will be a new one. And we will love each other for heaven’s sake - for Christ’s sake. :)