Who lives; who dies; who tells your story?

The first time I watched Hamilton, I sobbed through this song. The second time I watched Hamilton, I sobbed through this song. These lines resonate with my entire being. The words highlight my most dominant talents and touches a profound piece of my identity.

Eliza Hamilton made it her life’s mission to ensure her husband wasn’t forgotten. The political climate at the time of his death was fractitious. He was a polarizing figure - loved by some; hated by others. Yet Eliza knew his brilliance and dedication. She knew his faults and deep flaws, forgave his grievous sins - and loved him deeply. Love covers a multitude of sins. And so, she fought for his legacy. She preserved his story and ensured the world would not forget the role A.Ham played in creating this nation.

Being known, having a story to tell, living a life that displays God - these have been my deepest prayers. My other deep prayer was to be a wife…where I could be know…where our love story would display God’s faithfulness, generosity, mercy and grace.

God honored those requests. And I believe He also planted them in my core, so that the manifestation of these would bring us both great delight.

…and this week is a “monumental” one for Dan Kiesling.

Twenty years ago, he presided over the Michigan FFA convention. This week, his Godson & nephew, Alex Scovill, presides over the first virtual Michigan FFA convention. Each year, Michigan FFA invites the 20-year team to open one of the meetings. It’s a pretty big deal - and offers a chance to reunite for the team.

I know Dan would have looked forward to this. The added significance of “presiding” with his favorite Godson would have meant the world to him. He probably wouldn’t have said it. He would have made some joke and found someone inspirational to quote - but he would have loved it.

Some members of Dan’s officer team made a tribute video with snippets from Dan’s retiring advice. This will be played during the tribute to the 20-year team on Thursday morning’s 9am (EST) session. (You can watch live or later on the Michigan FFA Association facebook page.) I probably don’t need to tell you I sobbed. Sobbed. Full-on, big, heaving tears that kept pouring out long after it ended.

That little 1-minute video summed up so much of what I loved about Dan. His love of an audience to motivate them to greatness. His dedication - every word he said on stage he believed. His work ethic - He worked hard to live a life of integrity so that people would believe his words. His commitment to the future of agriculture that also honors and preserves the past. He lived the FFA creed.

Who lives, who dies, who tells your story?

This week, someone who knew Dan a little during his time at Iowa State, said that it was apparent Dan was happiest when he was with me. That comment meant so much to me. I know my own faults and failings - and dwell too much on what I’m failing at. …and sometimes, my regrets speak louder than the truths. We don’t always realize the impact we have on others - especially those closest to us.

I know Dan loved me and I know he was proud of me - because he told me. But sometimes, it was pretty hard to tell if Dan was HAPPY. He often appeared to me to be carrying the weight of expectations - his own primarily (but mine, too). His desire to make his family proud of him - to live up their expectations - to live up to mine. To be the man he aspired to be. As a result, he worked. Hard. Living up to the weight of his expectations.

And so, to hear that others could see that I helped lighten that load…that being with me brought light to his being and countenance….this means so much to me. Being Dan’s wife was one of the great privileges of my life.

I love to tell the story of Dan Kiesling. I love that this week, we get to remember his service to Michigan FFA, an organization he loved dearly.